Anti-theft underwear

Are you afraid of the family jewels being taken from the family safe?  Put them where no burglar has gone before, a pair of skid marked underpants. Now you see the genius of the Security Briefs, anti-theft protection masquerading as your dirty tighty whiteys. Not meant for wearing, but it's between a Small and Medium sized men's underwear. Security Briefs are disgustingly funny. Secretly conceals your valuables stash. Has skid-mark technology to ensure no one will touch these things so your valuables are safe.

 

Alternatively, the below are also available for sale at night markets and Chinese department stores. The zipper front pocket is convenient for carrying cash or other items you wish to conceal. They come in an assortment of styles and colors and usually cost around 1 US dollar, a smart investment if you plan on travelling around China for some length of time. 

I know this could have been an ugly design but one should pack a couple pairs for long trips in China and wear one on the day you embark on a train ride or long distance bus.